How Would You Like To Be THE BEST

PARENT, SPOUSE, FRIEND, ASSOCIATE or SALESPERSON THAT YOU CAN BE? 

Learn HOW TO LISTEN ... REALLY LISTEN

And YOU WILL TRANSFORM YOUR WORLD!

Have you ever experienced the empty feeling and disappointment of sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with someone only to realize that they weren't really listening?

On the other hand, can you remember how good it felt when you could express your deepest fears, hopes and dreams to someone who really listened?    

~ Ralph Nichols, known as the father of listening

PICTURE THIS SCENE

Your child comes home from a BAD day at school. In her cry for attention she slams a few cupboard doors. Most people HEAR the slam of cupboard doors. A skilled listener HEARS the child’s cry for attention and their need to share their thoughts and feelings with someone who cares.

OUR INABILITY TO LISTEN TO OUR CHILDREN IS A MODERN DAY TRAGEDY.

In a 2002 survey by British Telecom (BT) they found that too many parents don't take the time to talk to their children. The majority of the children surveyed said their parents are bad listeners and they can't talk to them about their problems.

ChildLine chairman Esther Rantzen said; "This research has highlighted the range of issues that children and young people want to be involved in and heard on. We know that children don't just need help with problems such as abuse and bullying – they also want to talk to us about loneliness, worries about other people and things that happen in the world around them.

BT's head of social policy said; "We agree with ChildLine, and with the children and adults who took part in the research, that listening more to young people could help to provide solutions to social problems, as well as changing individual lives."

For the poll, RBA Research questioned 2,600 children and 1,500 adults in the UK.

  Who Do You Go to For Advice?

Is it the stern, analytical type who tell you "what you should do" or is it to the quiet listeners who may gently reflect back what you're trying to express?

TRY THIS TWO-PART QUIZ ON THE WORLD'S

MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE 

Part One

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name ten people who have won the Nobel prize or Pulitzer prize.
3. Name the last five Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress.
4. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
5. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.

How well did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They're the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Now here's the second part of the quiz. Let's see how well do you do on this part? 

Part Two

1. Name three teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
5. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

It's probably easy to see that the people who make a difference in your life aren't the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones who took time to listen, communicate and share.

"I thought I was already a good listener, but was I ever wrong!" 

This was the most fascinating program I have ever experienced. I thought I was already a good listener, but was I ever wrong! I learned a great deal about myself and the areas in which I needed to improve my listening and communication skills.  

Now I find that I am more tuned into conversations and there is a level of satisfaction I have achieved in feeling that I am a better partner, friend, mother and co-worker."                     

                                                                                              ~Jacqueline Bagatto

 IN JUST TWENTY-NINE DAYS YOU CAN ACQUIRE THE EXTRAORDINARY SKILLS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE LISTENING.

Hi, my name is Richard Fast, and I developed this 29DAYS Listening and Communication program because we are facing a Communication Crisis.

Wow, that’s quite a statement. 

But it’s absolutely true. We ... mankind ... are rapidly losing our ability to listen and communicate effectively.

When you entered grade-one you already had the basics skills of speaking and listening, but you didn't have any skills in reading or writing. The unfortunate result was the assumption that speaking and listening are natural skills. As a result of this conclusion the next eight to ten years of your education were focused on teaching you reading and writing skills. In fact, you probably didn't receive more than a few hours of listening instruction throughout your entire formal education.

This is a huge oversight because students entering the workforce will require their listening skills as much as three times more than they will require their reading skills.

Ask yourself this; "How successful can a person be as a parent, spouse, supervisor, or salesperson if they have poor listening skills?"

Human beings are social creatures. The basic needs of humankind have not and will not change. With the proliferation of email, Smartphones, texting and Twitter, we are frequently substituting meaningful communication with an endless stream of meaningless information.

We now have the ability to be in constant communication with each other ... without really communicating. A great deal of our "modern" communication is an endless exchange of trivial information. In fact, this is becoming the only level of communication that most people experience.

I’m not downplaying the wonderful tools of technology, in fact, I enthusiastically applaud them, but a tool is only as good as the person wielding it. When a tool is misused it can have catastrophic consequences. When texting and Twittering replace those occasions that call for listening, understanding, and face-to-face communication, our businesses and our relationships will suffer greatly. 

We are rapidly losing the art of meaningful communication.  

Not long ago I was in a restaurant where I saw four women celebrating one of their birthdays, and for most of the evening these woman hardly exchanged more than a few words with each other. Each of them were lost in their world of texting other people, surfing the net, or making phone calls. They seemed to completely overlook the simple opportunity to share and appreciate each other’s company.

We are becoming blind, deaf and dumb to the extraordinary need of effective communication. Many of us have no idea what listening really means, or even HOW to listen, and yet it’s the most powerful and effective skill we can develop. 

Suppose that you and your family, friends and associates decided that you really couldn’t be bothered to listen to each other beyond the most basic level?

• How would that impact your relationship with your family and friends?
• How would it influence your relationships with your customers?
• How would it effect your company’s ability to implement new strategy and to work together as a cohesive team?

The sad reality is that "partial" listening is the level of listening that most of us are becoming accustomed to.

When our listening skills have eroded to the point where important feelings and discussions are avoided, when business associates cannot effectively and efficiently communicate their thoughts, visions and desires, when sales people lack the skills to effectively hear what their customers are saying – and not saying – then we will be left scratching our heads and wondering what went wrong.

Have you noticed any of these poor communication symptoms?

• Family members and friends changing the topic to avoid rocking-the-boat and facing an uncomfortable conversation?
• Coworkers and associates frequently sending email in order to avoid face-to-face meetings?
• Bosses leaving voice mail, notes or email in lieu of open discussion and heart-to heart communication?

This is the global epidemic!

This is the bubbling volcano that results in divorce, failed relationships, failed businesses and family crisis.

What are the most IMPORTANT INGREDIENTS for SUCCESS and achievement in today’s workplace? ...

 Without a doubt it’s effective listening and communication skills!  

Consider these facts ...

• Human resources professionals estimate that more than 80% of the people who fail at their jobs do so for only one reason – they cannot listen and communicate effectively.   
• Both business practitioners and academics listed listening as one of the most important skills for an effective professional.
• Listening has been identified as one of the top skills employers seek in entry-level employees as well as those being promoted.

When YOU LEARN the RARE SKILLS of 

EFFECTIVE LISTENING and COMMUNICATION,

You Will RISE to the Top of ANY

ENVIRONMENT YOU’RE IN!

 In just twenty-nine days you can excel at listening and communicating. You will be eased into a skill that will dramatically improve every area of your life.

Introducing 29 DAYS ... to becoming a great
listener and communicator ...

THIS REVOLUTIONARY 4 -WEEK PROGRAM WILL TAKE YOU ON A FASCINATING JOURNEY OF AWARENESS AND SELF-DISCOVERY.

This 29DAYS program is designed to teach you the fundamental principles of listening and communicating ... FIRST to YOURSELF and THEN to others. 

You will learn to read between the lines, to see, hear, sense and feel far more than the spoken word. You will quickly understand that words are limited in their ability to convey feelings, meanings and emotions.

Real listening involves far more than just the auditory physical sense of hearing.

Reading a book or attending a seminar on listening and communicating can certainly be helpful, but if you want these skills to become a part of you – so that you APPLY them WITHOUT EFFORT – then you need to LIVE them as you LEARN them. 

What This 29DAYS Program Will Do For YOU!

Relationships shouldn’t be a constant struggle. There’s a way to build lasting bonds.

Although poor listening may be one of the most destructive problems ever, it’s often the most difficult to notice. Afterall, we “hear” what we hear. We are certain that what we heard – and our interpretation of what we heard –  is completely accurate. That is the very reason that poor listening and communication is so rampant. 

 Most of us believe that poor listening is a serious problem ... but it's everyone else that has the problem!

Listening, like many things in life, is not necessarily as it appears to our senses. There is listening, and then there is effective listening. Vast difference, especially in results.

Learning to listen effectively is the singular most important key to building relationships that leave you feeling fulfilled instead of stressed and angry.

This 29DAYS program isn't a magic wand; if you've always had a horrible relationship with your mother it's not going to change overnight, but it can change in a surprisingly short period of time.

When you learn to listen ... really listen to someone ... you will understand why it is often said that listening is the greatest gift that we can give another person.

In just twenty-nine days you will see significant – and lasting – changes in the way you interact with every person in your life.

How is that possible? 

Because in twenty-nine days your mind will work completely differently than it used to. You’ll be encountering the same problems – the same condescending things your brother has always said, the same annoying habit your significant other has always done – but you’ll experience those events in completely different ways.

You will change the way you used to look at old situations. The new techniques you've learned will create new neuron pathways and new ways of thinking. 

And when other people see how you've changed, the way you have begun to listen and communicate, they'll start to engage with you in a different way than they ever have before. 

In just twenty-nine days you’ll learn the skills of effective listening and communicating with everyone in your life. You’ll never go back to your old listening habits again.

"Don't miss this opportunity to enrich your life"

Every once in a while someone like Richard Fast comes along and cares enough about his own and our lives to be of help! Dont' miss this opportunity to enrich your life - its quality and content! I will review these steps and lessons on good listening and communication time and again.

A study showed that people on their death beds said that what mattered most to them at the end of their lives was, in fact, their relationships.

~ Taylor Jane Green BA, RIHR, LC, CH

In just twenty-nine days you will learn how;

• To become aware of your self-talk and how much it influences your beliefs, thoughts, habits and behaviors. Becoming aware of your self-talk is the first major step to extraordinary change and effective listening.
• To actively incorporate the three levels of listening and when to use them.
• To listen with sympathy and empathy and to understand the difference between them.
• To give advice and when to withhold it.
• You acquired your thoughts and beliefs through early childhood programming and how you can reprogram yourself to thoughts and beliefs of your choosing.
• To avoid the Drama Triangle of Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim and how it can prevent you from developing effective relationships, happiness, and joy.
• The grand illusion of multitasking can dramatically reduce your efficiency, productivity and the effective completion of your day-to-day tasks.
• To keep your mind from wandering when listening.
• To become aware of your “filters” and how they can drastically distort your ability to listen and communicate.
• Effective listening can enhance every area of your life.
• To listen so you hear what people are saying as well as what they are trying to say .... and much more.

 The biggest obstacle most of us face is getting ourselves to take daily positive actions that will lead to a PERMANENT and POSITIVE new way of living.

"Nothing can damage a relationship right from the start as much as poor listening."

Being a good listener is one of the most important attributes of marriage, parenting, friendships, and business relationships. A poor listener misunderstands and misses out on the vital give-and-take partnerships that give life meaning and help us to feel connected to others. Yet few people are born knowing how to listen; it is a skill like any other and we can learn to do it well. For listening is not simply the absence of speaking, but the active focus of the open heart and mind of one who values healthy relationships.

In 29 Days to Being an Effective Listener, Richard Fast takes us through an easy-to-follow plan to improve our listening skills. Interspersed with real-life examples and action steps, this program will help you improve your relationships by excelling at a skill used every day in every situation. Nothing can damage a relationship right from the start as much as poor listening, yet bad habits are not impossible to change. Listen to Richard Fast and follow his program. Then listen to others, and soon they will be listening to you as well."

Author of Open Your Heart with Pets and What Saved Me: A Dozen Ways to Embrace Life.

~ Janice Phelps Williams

Why take this program

Relationships shouldn't be a constant struggle. There's a way to build lasting bonds.

This addition to our 29 DAYS program is perhaps the least tangibly obvious, but poor listening may be one of the most destructive problems ever. It's easy for you to tell when you've gained too much weight, but it's a lot less obvious when your relationships are a constant battle of wills.

Except for the really obvious parts where you get into arguments, fight all the time (over silly things), or just flat-out misunderstand one another.

Bad relationships can make your work life, your personal life, and your romantic life absolutely miserable – and that's not even mentioning your relationships with other people.

There's a single key to building better relationships that leave you feeling fulfilled instead of stressed and angry. And you can get it – in just twenty-nine days.

How does it work?

This isn't a magic wand; If you've always had a horrible relationship with your mother, she's not going to turn around tomorrow and start telling you that everything you do makes her proud.

But you will see significant – and lasting – changes in the way the two of you interact. You'll find that your boss is more inclined to respect your opinions and that your coworkers are more likely to look to you for answers. You'll find that you can't remember the last time you and your spouse squabbled.

You'll forget why any of these people ever made you angry by their behavior.

How is that possible?

Because your mind will work completely differently than it used to. You'll be encountering the same problems – the same condescending thing your brother has always said, the same annoying habit your significant other has always done – but you'll experience those events in completely different ways.

You'll have changed the method your mind uses to look at the situation because the techniques you'll have learned open up new neuron tracks and pathways, encourage and develop new thought processes, and help you build healthier habits when you engage with other people.

You'll feel like a different person: a lot calmer and happier.

And when other people see how you've changed the way you listen and communicate, they'll start to engage with you in a different way than ever before.

In just twenty-nine days you'll learn the skills of effective listening and communicating with the most important people in your life.

You'll never go back to your old listening habits. None of you will.

How this program works

The 29 DAYS program breaks down into four easy weeks, each starting on a Monday.

You'll receive two emails every day from your online coach so that you have the support you need, right there with you. Your online coach will also keep track of whether you've responded to your daily emails to say you're still hanging in. That's how we help you stay accountable – and how you can actively build new patterns in your mind through repetition.

Week One: Commitment and Awareness Week

If you aren't committed to your goal, you won't succeed. In this first week, we'll help you commit to your goals with a strong foundation that supports you when temptation starts whispering away at you, encouraging you to fall prey to those old destructive routines you've shed.

You'll learn observation and awareness techniques that help you understand your current bad habits, such as when you're most likely to fall prey to them and what triggers the desire to give in. This means you'll have tools to fight back and stay strong.

Week Two: Preparation Week

After you've committed to your goal and become aware of the true extent of damage your current bad habit creates, you can start to prepare for the change ahead.

This is where the 29DAYS program really sets itself apart from all the rest – you develop your very own ideas on how to make permanent changes.

It's important that you take control of your own personal changes. We'll help you build powerful new neuron tracks and thought processes, and you'll feel empowered to change by being in full control of how those changes happen.

Week Three: Taking Action

Enough planning; it's time to get to work. By developing awareness of your current bad habits and tailoring your plans for change to your personal weak spots and desires, you'll be more than prepared to put your plan to good use.

Our daily reminders, visualizations, and affirmations have helped you develop the strong neural changes that make it easy for you to replace those bad behaviors with your planned good ones. Your take-action steps may be small, but you'll be able to put them in place knowing they're here to stay. For good.

Week Four: Staying the Course

You've probably tried to change your habits before – but slipped back into your old destructive routines. That's why this final week is so important, because this is when you cement those new habits into place and learn to stay the course.

And by this point, you're nearly at the end! If you stick with your course through the final week, it will be nearly impossible for you to go back to your old habits. Developing new habits is a process, and you'll already be reaping the rewards of the small changes you've made.

The best news is that these changes happen permanently. You won't ever go back. You won't ever slip back into your old ways again.

In just twenty-nine days, you'll have a new lease on life. A new way of experiencing your day.

Introduction

There is no other skill, talent or habit that will have a greater impact on your life than your ability to become a “good” listener and communicator. Developing this quality will transform every relationship you have. One of the greatest gifts you can give to another person is to make them feel truly listened to and understood.

Our supreme ability to communicate is humanity’s greatest accomplishment. It’s the singular skill that sets us apart from all other creatures on our planet. Human beings are the only animals who communicate by sharing our minds. Other animals such as birds and chimpanzees signal to one another, but they don’t share thoughts and feelings. 

When I told a friend I was going to title this program 29 DAYS ... to becoming a great listener, she was okay with that. She had a problem when I told her I had changed my mind and I was going to title the program 29 DAYS ... to becoming a great listener and communicator. In her opinion these were two different programs. She felt that she was a great communicator but not really a skilled listener.

I thought about what she said for a long time. The more I reflected the more I disagreed with her: I believe that listening and communicating are very much intertwined. 

Communication is two-way dialogue. Have you ever suffered through some windbag who refused to shut up, or cued into the blatant signals of the “listener” yawning or fidgeting? This guy bulldozed on for 20 minutes about his hemorrhoids, or giving you the last detail about the cyst he had removed. As a listener, you fully understood every word, or worse, you might have pictured it all in vivid color! Was that communication? Yes. Was it effective communication? No! Effective communication is a two-way street.  

The communicator in this case failed to clue into the fact that you weren’t interested in the subject matter. In other words, the speaker wanted you to receive his communication (his story), but he couldn’t be bothered to pick up on your disinterest. 

This program is designed to help you discover the fundamental principles of listening and communicating––for yourself and others. You will learn to read between the lines, to see, hear, sense and feel far more than the spoken word. You will quickly understand that words are limited in their ability to convey feelings, meanings and emotions. Real listening involves far more than the auditory physical senses.  

Most of us take listening for granted––just one of the five senses that comes as naturally and effortlessly as seeing or tasting. In fact, we often equate hearing with listening––always a mistake. Hearing is merely a cognizant registration of physical energy and vibration. Effective listening involves feelings, emotions, empathy and understanding. These are human qualities that can totally transform your relationships as a spouse, parent, friend and business associate. Effective listening is a skill––which means anyone can acquire it. When you learn to listen effectively, you will rise to the top of any environment. 

There are few emotional needs as necessary to the human spirit as the need to be validated and understood. By the same token there are few experiences as emotionally devastating as not being heard or understood. This lack of listening in our modern era has left an undeniable hole in our lives. It leaves emptiness, a gnawing sense of being cheated out of an essential ingredient to being human.

In just 29 days your new listening and communication skills will radically transform your most valued relationships and your life.  

To listen empathically is a rare gift to give

and a treasure to receive.

~ Richard

29 DAYS ... to becoming a great

listener and communicator

Table of Contents

WEEK ONE – COMMITMENT AND AWARENESS

DAY ONE

a.m. – How Would You Respond? - Quiz

p.m. – The Most Important Skill of All

DAY TWO

a.m. – How Well Do I Listen? - Quiz

p.m. – The Power of Visualization

DAY THREE

a.m. – If Listening is So Important, Why are So Many of Us Not So Good At It?

p.m. – The International Listening Association

DAY FOUR

a.m. – Success Is a Choice

p.m. – Listening Means … Knowing When to Shut Up!

DAY FIVE

a.m. – The Three Levels of Listening

p.m. – Are You Afraid to Listen?

DAY SIX

a.m. – Like It or Not … You’re Surprisingly Similar to Your Parents – Part One

p.m. – Listening and Business

DAY SEVEN

a.m. – Are We Really Clones of Our Parents? ‘Fraid So!

p.m. – You Create the Future … Deliberately or Not!

WEEK TWO – PREPARATION FOR ACTION

DAY EIGHT

a.m. – Setting Your Goals

p.m. – Being a Good Listener Doesn’t Mean You Have to Listen

DAY NINE

a.m. – Games People Play

p.m. – Listening and Education

DAY TEN

a.m. – I’m OK, You’re OK, or Maybe Not!

p.m. – Are You Superior or Inferior?

DAY ELEVEN

a.m. – The Drama Triangle

p.m. – How Affirmations Change Brain Behavior

DAY TWELVE

a.m. – Learning to Listen to Yourself – Part One

p.m. – Reflecting on the Drama Triangle

DAY THIRTEEN

a.m. – Learning to Listen to Yourself – Part Two

p.m. – To Rescue or Not? That is the Question

DAY FOURTEEN

a.m. – Learning to Listen to Yourself – Part Three

p.m. – The Importance of Self-Talk

WEEK THREE – TAKING ACTION

DAY FIFTEEN

a.m. – Multitasking … The Grand Illusion

p.m. – The Wisdom of Og Mandino

DAY SIXTEEN

a.m. – Plodding Speech, Racing Thoughts: How to Fill in the Gap

p.m. – The ABS Brakes of Listening

DAY SEVENTEEN

a.m. – Listening Through Filters

p.m. – Seeing the World as it Really Is

DAY EIGHTEEN

a.m. – The Hidden Power of Listening

p.m. – Can You Listen, Really Listen for 2 Minutes?

DAY NINETEEN

a.m. – How We Give Away Our Power: The Barriers to Listening

p.m. – Learning to Listen at Level-One

DAY TWENTY

a.m. – The Natural Fear of Listening

p.m. – Reflecting on Your Ability to Listen at Level-One

DAY TWENTY-ONE

a.m. – Practicing Level-One Listening

p.m. – Reflections on Your “New” Listening Skills

WEEK FOUR – STAYING THE COURSE

DAY TWENTY-TWO

a.m. – Handling the Dreaded “C” Word: Criticism – Part One

p.m. – Reflections on Malicious Criticism

DAY TWENTY-THREE

a.m. – Handling the Dreaded “C” Word: Criticism – Part Two

p.m. – Reflections on Constructive Criticism

DAY TWENTY-FOUR

a.m. – Handling the Dreaded “C” Word: Criticism – Part Three

p.m. – Reflections on Perceived Criticism

DAY TWENTY-FIVE

a.m. – That’s So Funny, the Very Same Thing Happened to Me!

p.m. – Resisting the Urge to Interrupt

DAY TWENTY-SIX

a.m. – Non-Listening’s Deadliest Sin

p.m. – Giving Advice

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN

a.m. – What’s the Difference Between Listening With Sympathy and Empathy?

p.m. – Empathic Listening Takes Practice

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT

a.m. – How to Be an “Ineffective” Communicator

p.m. – Giving and Receiving the Gift of Praise

DAY TWENTY-NINE

a.m. – Living My Life as a Great Listener and Communicator

p.m. – If We Fail to Listen to Others, We Live in Isolation

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